The number of hearts broken. The number of words in raging silence not spoken. And the number of promises all broken. Yet in all this I am the one who feels forsaken……Lives turned upside down. Dreams in an instant shattered and burnt down. Promises not kept from the time my lips they left. Grievances and complaints not given attention, all ignored. How to do things I could not be told. I mean, I knew it all. I knew it all until one sad day I looked and I had lost it all but the grief that came with the loss. That day I knew what it meant to be familiar with pain because it flowed my very veins.
I look into my soul, search and scrape each and every corner. No redemption to find, for the filth within fills every heart’s corner. All wrong done, all piling up like dung, surely only flies can in such, pleasure find. For those that are pure, true in heart, they cannot mix with such an appalling sight. Self-pity is all that is heard, a cry out for help to those I once ignored. Irrelevant they were to me and to their suffering I once gave a nod. But now it is these that point to me and in guilt they rightfully hold.
Crushed to the bone and vexed by my sins. Under the weight of my guilt, I cannot get up it seems. “What have I done? All that I have touched I have broken and left the stitching undone”… I do know for a fact that this will not go unpunished. But only one punishment I can bear Father, the one in your hands furnished. For as soon as I get into the hands of others, I surely would have perished. All the pain deserved, perhaps it is not revenge that should be best served cold, but consequence as it is deserved. But if I could the past change o Lord, I would in an instant all reverse. Reflecting on things done and more on things not done, I lay down grieved and my fate accepting. This is my lot, a hand to me rightfully dealt…I am accepting and for the verdict patiently waiting.
mkhonto85 