Ungenza Ngcono…

This is a little piece I composed when I was in a dark place. If I was a rap star, I’d come up with a little tune and make some real music. But I only know how to write what I think and feel down. So if you want to use this, just holler…and oh, it’s in IsiNdebele lol.

Remember the first time ngikhuluma lawe

From that point on, baby ngabali ‘qhawe.

You know what?!, wantshintsha impilo yami

Ngangihlala ngizula, looking for the next game

Never thinking of ukuntshintsha and being tame.

Never thinking of how my life was a shame.

Wafika wena, wathi phola mfana ngilawe.

Ngantshintsha impilo yami and now I have a name.

Ngabakhangela bonke ngathi,this is my time, ngolibona next time.

Kodwa baby, in spite of this flame, ngiyazi ungenza ngcono.

CHORUS

I am telling you ungenza ngcono, sithandwa sami ungenza ngcono

Banengi phandle abenza ngcono, abangakuphatha ngcono, love you ngcono

People who will appreciate you more, I tell you baby ungenza ngcono

Akhona amajita angcono, baphethe lesikolo njalo bagqoka ngcono

Mina ngiyiskorobho baby, wena ungenza ngcono.

VERSE 2

You know before I met you, ngangicabanga njengo grade two

At that age ufana lomuntu ongelaskolo, ngizula ngingenzi fokolo.

Wathi kimi wena  ubona i-potential, with your words I started to try and I knew I could fly.

Soon ngazibona ngiphumelele, ngangena izindawo ngabayingqwele

Kodwa ngobuwula I looked forward & forgot you, owami umqhele.

Through all that trouble and folly, wena ngami wawuzifele

I understand uyangithanda kodwa baby you can do better than me, ungenza ngcono.

CHORUS

I am telling you ungenza ngcono, sithandwa sami ungenza ngcono

Banengi phandle abenza ngcono, abangakuphatha ngcono, love you ngcono

People who will appreciate you more, I tell you baby ungenza ngcono

Akhona amajita angcono, baphethe lesikolo njalo bagqoka ngcono

Mina ngiyiskorobho baby, wena ungenza ngcono.

…chains of love.

Bound up, chained down and unable to move.

Freedom unknown and I know not where to turn.

Chains on my hands and feet, I seem not to be able to break.

Dear master sin, do please I beg, give me a break.

Nowhere to turn, trouble and pain is what I have earned.

But hold on, sweet relief I see, this will come to an end…

 

Sometime last year I read a horrifying story of a young black American male who had just murdered his daughter and turned the gun on himself.  Apparently, before doing this horrific act, the man wrote on his Facebook profile

“I told u I can’t live without u lol u thought I was joking now me n Mia out this *expletive*”.

This man was “in love” with his ex-girlfriend (I put quotes because I do not believe in that type of ‘being in love’ but we will discuss that on another day, so back to the story). He was so “in love” with her to such a point that he felt the only way to numb the pain and perhaps get her back for leaving him was to murder his daughter and then commit suicide, the fortunate part is that he failed on the suicide attempt. The question then comes, is this what comes to our minds when we hear the words “chains of love”? Do we picture such a scenario or something milder or worse?

On speaking to a couple of people and asking them what the words “chains of love” meant to them, most indicated that the words gave them an idea of obsession, being in love with someone and being unable to move on with your life or escape. All the answers reflected a situation that was not pretty at all, a situation in which love is cruel and does not allow them freedom. Then I asked myself, how can love be cruel? How can love enslave someone and they not be able to break loose from a horrible situation? The good thing is that I found my answer to all these questions, love is not cruel nor does it hold you out of your will, but love does enslave and not in the horrible way that most of us interpret that word to mean. Please, allow me to explain.

In Romans 6: 17-18 (ESV), Paul says

“But thanks to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.”

 It’s interesting to see how Paul puts things here, that if you were in sin you served it as a slave, meaning that one sins as one who is entirely dominated or as some would say ‘do it religiously’. He then implies that with the same streak, we should be slaves of righteousness, meaning that we should then whole-heartedly do what is right with extreme care and great effort.  In verse 19 he further elaborates, that as we served sin slavishly we should serve Christ in the same manner.

On reading David Guzik’s commentary I learnt a few things on these verses. Guzik quotes a Greek scholar, Kenneth Wuest, who defines the ancient Greek word slave as being 1. one born in a condition of slavery, 2. one whose will is swalloed up in the will of another, 3. one who is bound to the master with bonds/chains only death can break, 4. one who serves his master to the disregard of his own interest. Guzik on considering how Wuest defines slavery, then goes on to say that we were slaves to sin as, 1. we were born in slavery to sin, 2. our will was swallowed up in the will of the sin within us, 3. the chains of sin could only be broken by death – i.e. spiritually dying on the cross with Jesus Christ, and 4. we served sin to the disregard of our own interest, even though this meant harm to us. Guzik, then flips the coin and says that since we are now slaves to righteousness and using the same definition by Wuest, then, 1. we are now born again, born into slavery of righteousness, 2. our will is swallowed up in God’s will as we seek His good will, 3. we are bound to Christ by chains that only death can break, and since He triumphed over death, those chains will never be broken and finally, 4. we now serve righteousness with a disregard of our own interests, which are, in anyway, evil. The analogy of slavery brought up by Paul in these verses, though seemingly weird, is true and in that truth we serve as free slaves only bound by the chains of love.

There is a song by the American artist, Bob Dylan, that is entitled “Gotta serve somebody”. The words in that song bear a lot of truth because though a lot of people may choose to disagree with this, the truth is “you gotta serve somebody”. And in the third verse and chorus he says (all the verses somehow touch different individuals, so it was hard to decide on which verse to pick..but hey).

“You may be a state trooper, you might be an young turk
You may be the head of some big TV network
You may be rich or poor, you may be blind or lame
You may be living in another country under another name.

But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes
You’re gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody.”

You gotta admit, there is no greater truth than that. It’s either you serve sin or you serve God, only two sides..no neutral gear here. So choose your side and choose wisely. I would say, as you choose the chains of your bondage, go with the chains of love.

I know that within these chains of love, within these chains of servitude lies great peace. Bound up in these chains and seemingly restricted as most would say, “you guys do not drink alcohol, you say no premarital sex and SDAs (Seventh Day Adventists) do not eat pork”, these they all cite as restrictions. In these chains (or if you may, restrictions) we do not find pain, horror and imprisonment but we find peace and life, because these chains are our strength. There is none greater than the maker, and He did not put these chains on us as suffering but as freedom. O the great chains of love from within which we find freedom. What great irony the Lord displays in calling us to be slaves and be bound together with His chains of love, for these are the chains that bring life, life eternal, freedom and peace.

…bound up, to the outside world hopeless

But I, I would seek and want nothing less.

Loosed from the chains once bound, those of sin,

I am now bound in slavery of righteousness and good.

I know not any longer sin, like one pure it seems in it I have never been.

Now bound up in shackles of freedom, peace and life

My every word and deed is now pure indeed.

I feel a great relief within, because now I live.

Yes, now I live in the chains of love.

…words of a wise fool.

Can one who is a fool ever be wise? Or is this truly otherwise? and do we then all think that once a fool always a fool? Can a fool not learn from his folly and one day grow to be one that is wise?…and prove us all to be none the wiser? From my experience the saying once a fool always a fool is something people believe to be factual and true. But the question remains, can a fool ever be wise?

The theme “wise fool” is one that is contradictory in itself and it set to make a point as I truly do believe that fool can be wise. The problem I have seen is that no matter how much one changes, people will always describe and know that person by his/her folly. Let me give you two good examples in the great book, the Holy Bible. Let’s take a look at one of my greatest heroes, king David…a man after God’s own heart! A man of many great accomplishments, but the one thing that people choose to remember him by, is his adulterous affair with Bathsheba and the spilling of the blood of Uriah. People always chose to remember the foolish acts and allow that to be what remains fresh in their minds…let me rephrase, ‘we allow that to be what remains fresh in our minds, our very narrow minds’. I ask again, can a fool ever be seen as being wise? Another classic example is that of Rahab found in the book of Judges. This lady is the only individual (from my research and searching of the Bible) that bears the name Rahab. Yet, you find that the two times she is mentioned in the New Testament, she does not escape the title “the harlot”. The only woman mentioned in Hebrews 11 alongside Sarah the mother of faith, yet she is still mentioned as “the harlot”. The question still remains, can a fool ever be wise?

I often hear people say “I am not my past”, but never have I ever taken those words into greater consideration as I am right now. There will always be people in life who will only remember your past and folly, to only ever know you as a fool. Take note…I referred to those people as “people in life” and not “people in your life”, because they need not be in your life if they choose to only look at your footprints and not where you are now and where you are headed. You are not your past, I am not my past, we are not our past. A fool can indeed be wise, but only if the fool learns from his folly…only then does a fool become wise. The unfortunate part is that if you do change, not all people will see the inspired change and call you wise, or a wise fool, but will just call you a fool as all they can see is the past.

Although king David did indeed murder Uriah, I do believe that he, David, will be in that celestial city side by side with faithful Uriah because though David was a fool, he learnt from his folly and repented. A fool can be wise! Rahab earned the title ‘the harlot’, due to her deeds, but she then moved from her foolish trade and married into the tribe of Judah. Although chronicled as “the harlot”, she forms the bloodline from which our Lord and Saviour came. I repeat, you are not your past, whether you and or other people choose to see it that way or not. A fool in the hands of God is not a fool no a wise fool but truly a wise man. I am not saying be foolish with the intention of learning from your folly and repenting at a later stage, because what if you do not learn and truly remain a fool? All I say is that, in your current folly, know that you can indeed be wise..in His hand. Do not allow people to label you as a fool when you have seen the light…neither should you label yourself as a fool either. We are not our past, we are wiser!

*Picture: Stańczyk by Jan Matejko

Reflections of a crushed man…

 

The number of hearts broken. The number of words in raging silence not spoken. And the number of promises all broken. Yet in all this I am the one who feels forsaken……Lives turned upside down. Dreams in an instant shattered and burnt down. Promises not kept from the time my lips they left. Grievances and complaints not given attention, all ignored. How to do things I could not be told. I mean, I knew it all. I knew it all until one sad day I looked and I had lost it all but the grief that came with the loss. That day I knew what it meant to be familiar with pain because it flowed my very veins.

I look into my soul, search and scrape each and every corner. No redemption to find, for the filth within fills every heart’s corner. All wrong done, all piling up like dung, surely only flies can in such, pleasure find. For those that are pure, true in heart, they cannot mix with such an appalling sight. Self-pity is all that is heard, a cry out for help to those I once ignored. Irrelevant they were to me and to their suffering I once gave a nod. But now it is these that point to me and in guilt they rightfully hold.

Crushed to the bone and vexed by my sins. Under the weight of my guilt, I cannot get up it seems. “What have I done? All that I have touched I have broken and left the stitching undone”… I do know for a fact that this will not go unpunished. But only one punishment I can bear Father, the one in your hands furnished. For as soon as I get into the hands of others, I surely would have perished. All the pain deserved, perhaps it is not revenge that should be best served cold, but consequence as it is deserved. But if I could the past change o Lord, I would in an instant all reverse. Reflecting on things done and more on things not done, I lay down grieved and my fate accepting. This is my lot, a hand to me rightfully dealt…I am accepting and for the verdict patiently waiting.

…for a bowl of soup!

The folly of Esau as he sold his birthright for a simple bowl of lentil soup. Most of us look at the story and say “dude, your heritage for a bowl of soup??” You may ask how much lower can a human being stoop? Believe me, we do stoop much lower than this as a people, and our secrets everyone they may spook. There are situations when we pray and ask God to guide us and God being God only guides and points out the way without forcing us into it. After praying for a sign, yet that sign we still ignore and we do what is clearly wrong and this to be wrong we always know. Thereafter comes a life of regrets and “what ifs”. What if I followed the way of the Lord and not followed my base passions? What if I had not sold my inheritance or God-given gift for a bowl of soup?

Submitting to the passions of the mind and body, slowly one moves away from the path set for him. Pulled down by the hunger for sin, the spiritual gift is soon seen as invaluable. Then with giving the hunger more and more attention, the lentil soup soon becomes to the perception something of great importance. Men desert their wives and families, for what seems as a better deal. People leave their duties at church for an illusion of freedom as to have “fun without answering to anyone”. The gift of eternal life is rejected for what is unpure and fleeting. Cheap sex, drunkness, violence and cutthroat competition being some of the bowls we so willingly devour, but how small-minded and lopsided are these pursuits! We all give our lives away for a bowl of lentil soup, at some point or the other, acknowledging it or not, we have sold some or all of our God-given gifts for a bowl of soup…a simple bowl of lentil soup.

I sit here and wish that I had the wisdom in those moments of weakness to not have given in to my hunger, and stood strong as to overcome the urge to accept the bowl of lentil soup for the gifts given to me. The what ifs you unfortunately have to live with each and every single day after you make that decision to take that bowl of soup. Esau was unfortunately not the only one (though he was made a public example) who sold away his gift for a bowl of soup. Me and you my friend are the Esaus of this day, with the exception of being made public examples, we are true carborn copies of the man Esau…We continually trade what is God-given for a simple bowl of lentil soup. O Lord, grant us the strength not to exchange the gifts You have given to us for a bowl of soup…a simple bowl of lentil soup.

Photography and Stereotypes

Photography has in the past and in this day been adapted as a probing tool, it is as a much a 
medium of witnessing as it is an analytical one. In this series of images my concept was to look at 
the stereotypes that ‘we’ have placed on people to an extent that one can see a face and paste 
a personality, an identity just from how we perceive faces. As Alfred Einstein says “We are only 
beginning to learn what to say in a photograph. The world we live in is a succession of fleeting 
moments, anyone of which might say something significant.” 

In this series I photographed a number of people who at first glance I saw and thought I knew the 
kind of people they are only from what I perceived in my mind but only after I talked to them I 
realized they were more than just faces but they had more to offer that what I initially thought. 

The images are two layers of two different people one being the perception I had and the other being the actual identity that they carried. This I found problematic to place stereotypes to faces before getting to know who the actual person is. The darkness in the series is the aura that I feel stereotypes place on our identity as a people of Zimbabwe. The spot light is to emphasize the weight that we have placed on faces to determine who a person is. I found this would explain possibilities in the sense that in epimistic possibilities (possibilities that come through knowledge e.g. tomorrow is Friday the possibility that tomorrow is Friday factual). What is the possibility that we have created an identity of how we perceive people from the stereotypes and ideologies we have over and over placed on people’s faces? I find it highly problematic though it is still within our power to recreate a new perception and the possibilities are infinite.

About the Author/Photographer

Nyaradzo “Nyary” Dhliwayo was born in Marondera, Zimbabwe on the 24th of October 1991. Her name Nyaradzo is a Shona name that means comfort. She tries  to portray the meaning of her name in her work and have her name as her identity as it carries a meaning that she feels obliges her to be the voice of her society and become a comforter through the emotion and imagery of her work. Nyary has had art, especially photography, as her release point as long as she can remember. It has given her a chance to escape into worlds she created for herself; with the subjects becaming her confidants, the compositions of her music. Her main interests lie in the themes of identity and representation of the body especially the female body and the stereotypes that come along.

Gwanza Month of Photography

Gwanza Photography… an exhibition founded and organised by Mr Calvin Dondo is an annual photography exhibition held in Zimbabwe. Dondo was reported by the Zimbabwean Daily News newspapers as saying “Gwanza means a frame and in the context of the exhibition, it reflects a timeframe of certain events as depicted in the photographs. We came up with the name after searching for a Shona word that could describe photography and identify ourselves as Zimbabweans”

I have also been told that the word Gwanza, means “gap” and from my thinking, I would say the name was given to this yearly exhibition, maybe unintentionally, to say that the exhibition would seek to fill the “gap” in society and educate through photography. Nonetheless, the work done is quite remarkable.

What follows below is a is a piece written by a dear friend of mine, Nyaradzo “Nyary” Dhliwayo about the Gwanza photography festival. I will write a piece of my own about Nyary as a great photographer who is full of great promise and promises to change the world of photography and art through her work. I hope you enjoy the read and you will be looking forward to the next month of Gwanza photography with myself. Enjoy!!!

(…and oh, please do pardon the quality of some of the pictures. I took the pictures using my phone…just to give you a glimpse of what was being displayed.)

Gwanza Month of Photography 2013:

In its 10th year of photo festivals, Gwanza Photography has over the years been a platform for Zimbabwean photography to take its baby steps to a wider and broader sphere. This year’s theme 4+20Possibilities explores the idea of infinite possibilities given our definition of possibility being unspecified qualities of a promising nature or potential.

Since its inception photography’s aim has been to be represent reality, retell and freeze the moments that pass us by for later purposes, the bodies of work submitted this year according to the theme serve to be objective representations of the million possibilities that surround us in the world we live in, positive or negative possibilities Allan Sekula, a photographer and visual culture theorist, poignantly contends that while pictures are not objective representations of the lived world, the cultural belief in the truth value of photography leads most people to consider photographs “congruent with knowledge in general.” For my purposes it is not so important to determine to what degree photographs are objective records, but rather to explore how this assumption can be used to critique the authority we invest in looking. The issue at stake is how the images that are showing in this year’s Gwanza act as mirrors of the infinite possibilities that surround us. From fine art conceptual portrait photographs that I submitted (Nyary Dhliwayo), to photo-journalistic imagery that a bunch of the local journo’s submitted which includes the likes of Annie Mpalume, Believe Nyakudyara , Watson Umfeli to documentary photography from Nancy Mteki, Davina Jogi George Sena from Congo, Thomas Tsama from Zambia  to commercial imagery from Thabani all these images  are mirrors of possibilities that after the show we would have experienced a whole new world, new ways of looking and a better understanding of photography.

Our aim as Gwanza is to shift the perspective of the Zimbabwean communities that photography is more than the shutter going but a probing tool that over the years has changed societies like the famous Hector Peterson image. We want our viewers to learn that photography is an experience that the maker of the image and the viewer interact in like the famous self-portraits by Samuel Fosso, and surely progress is undeniably present given the amount of people who have submitted this year. We hope to see the work getting better through the Master Classes that we hold to help upcoming photographers to enhance their technical, theory and editing skills.  4+20Possibilities look around you will see the world is pregnant with potential!!

Sabbath: Sacred place in time.

Have you ever thought of how great a privilege we have in the Sabbath day? A day of rest, just to get away from the stress of life, studying and worrying about meeting a deadline. So amazing that on the Sabbath day I tend to completely forget about my deadlines and other things and just enjoy the fellowship and God’s love. Author and Pastor, Mark Finley says in his book “When God said Remember”: “..There are many holy things in the religions of the world. And there are many holy places in the history of the world. Hindus travel thousands of miles to bathe in the sacred waters of the Ganges. Moslems make long pilgrimages to Mecca. Buddhists honour the site where Buddha received the so-called ‘enlightenment’. Some Christians travel to Rome or Jerusalem to experience ‘sacred presence’. But in the Bible we find the unique idea of holiness in TIME…..We don’t have to make a long pilgrimage to arrive at God’s sacred site. Each Sabbath, Heaven touches Earth. God’s eternal place in time descends from Heaven…”
I say we are very fortunate to have the Sabbath day in our lives, what a treasure. Let’s appreciate this day always and keep it holy. Exodus 20v8-11(Message Bible) “Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Work six days and do everything you need to do. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to GOD, your God. Don’t do any work—not you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your servant, nor your maid, nor your animals, not even the foreign guest visiting in your town. For in six days GOD made Heaven, Earth, and sea, and everything in them; he rested on the seventh day. Therefore GOD blessed the Sabbath day; he set it apart as a holy day”. Ponder upon this as you go through the busy and stressful week, knowing that indeed God will give you rest. Have a great day.

…from the same cloth

-My wish is but one, that at the end of it all Lord you may give me her. Her who o Lord, is a cut from the same cloth as Eve, a cut from the same cloth as Ruth. A cut from the same cloth as Hannah, same cloth as Rebekkah, Abigail, Sarah and Mary the mother of Jesus. O Lord, this one thing I ask of You. May You touch her that she may be moulded and fashioned after the women who sought only You. A cut from the same cloth…

I ask o Lord, for a woman cut from the same cloth as Eve. A woman that will be the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. The beginning of all my generations. A woman taken from my very rib and side, my strength, flesh and blood. A woman o Lord cut from the same cloth as Ruth. A woman that will turn to me in the midst of the worst turmoil and say “you people shall be my people and your God shall be my God”. One that will not forsake me but help me be raised up to be the Boaz you want me to be. A man worthy to be called as part of the family of our mighty and glorious King.

Father, make and fashion her to be of the same cut as Hannah. A woman that prayed and murmured to you so much your holy man looked at her thinking her drunk. A woman that will pray so much it will confuse even the holiest of man in their wisdom. Pray to a level that no man but only you o King as God will understand and see her sanity. Fashion her after Rebekkah my God. A woman so loved by her husband that he saw working for her hand for 14 years as no sacrifice at all. A woman that I will sacrifice my years away for, as to gain her love and presence in my life. Cut her, o Jehovah, from the same cloth as Abigail a woman that wil stand for the right even when I as her husband would be clouded by my own foolishness. Standing for the right and calling me out when I am in the wrong. A woman o Lord seeking only to please You and only You.

May You cut her o Lord from the same cloth as Sarah. A woman whose name was changed to mean mother of all nations. A woman that You blessed at the right time, even at the age when her body had reached its limits. You o Lord at that time made her a witness of Your great power. A woman through whom the whole world was blessed, mother Sarah. O Lord, I pray You may fashion her after Mary o Lord. Mary the mother of my Lord Jesus Christ, a woman who in spite of not understanding of the task before her, took the task with great faith. Knowing that people might call her names thinking she is pregnant of a man before marriage and unpure. She o Lord took the possibility of being ridiculed with both arms open, knowing that with you, nothing will be impossible and she will be called blessed. Cut her o Lord from all these pieces of cloth so that she may be a robe of many colours. A robe of great and beautiful colours, a robe of splendour. Pleasing and delighting to your sight, a cut from the same cloth o Lord…

Unbelieving Believer…

Unbelieving believer, a strange statement indeed. Makes you think, what could this mean? Just read along, this is something you have witnessed…yes in your life, you did!
Believing yet not believing in that which you believe. Wait!! Is this statement a tease? If not, i then say this person does not believe… All we can say all we can say is “it seems he is confused”.
How can one who believes cause his own soul grieve. Claiming to be in the light but to it failing to cleave.
One people look at and say he is one with He – one with He who gave His life for him. Yet a closer look shows that for Him, he does not live.
A familiar story we have all seen, we have all seen not in other people’s lives but in our own. To the truth and what we believe we do not cleave. But instead to the wrong anf oppositr of our beliefs, ourselves we give. The question is how long will we stay unbelieving in what we believe?
Merely confessing that you believe and yet your actions not showing you believe…is not enough.
To God, to Him who died for us we have to cleave. Cleave and with Him be one. One with Him we truly shall be Believing Believers, for we will do what we believe and only that do.

***Unfortunately a life of hypocrisy is one we are all so familiar with. Saying this and doing the other. Our only hope is Him, we only truly believe through and in Him..***